My Pants

My pants. They are falling off of my butt. Blue jeans that I once had to undo when I sat down to avoid suffocation are now FALLING. OFF. I can take off my pants without having to unbutton or unzip them. This is the most success I have had in such a long time. I also reached my lightest weight to date as of this morning. This morning, the scale read 236.6. This is working. Some days are bad and some days are good. But this is working.


A few days ago I was able to put on a pair of jeans that had previously been too small. But they fit like dream now. And then I sang this song.

Happy Day
Love,
Miss Melissa

This is War

Depression is a monster. It grips you by the throat and takes control of your life. Today it is suffocating me. This morning I could not bear the thought of making myself presentable, going to work, or interacting with people. So I took a sick day. About 1 month ago I made the change. I've been working on my health and my mental stability and my relationship. I have been working hard. And yesterday I took a break. I ate too much and I drank too much. So today is a hard day and I'm not having any of it. Destroying my depression is not going to be all rainbows an butterflies. It's not going to be perfect. There are going to be rainy days.

The important thing is that I don't get stuck in the mud. I may have lost the battle today. But tomorrow, I will conquer and destroy. Tomorrow will be a victory. I will take this monster down and show it that this war is not over. I am too determined. It will not win. Not this time.